Pain
I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things. First of all, time and getting older. Which I shall probably get into in a different blog. Its effects and so on. Also, I have been thinking a lot lately about pain. I know, not a fun thing to be thinking about. Especially in July. I feel like July is supposed to be fun n' games, water slides, bbqs, kisses, and watermelons. So why would anyone in their right mind choose to think about pain in July? Why would anyone in their right mind choose to think in July? I mean, aren't rainy Octobers and dreary January's enough time spent pondering if we are doing right by ourselves and evaluating our relationships and current mental health status?
Well, quite simply, we aren't immune to life. Which comes back to the age thing, because when we were little it was July and of course we wouldn't be thinking about life and its deficiencies. But again , this is a future blog (to be continued...)
But life has deficiencies. And often times the pain is more than just deficiencies. Pain is a very real way to telling that you are human. Its like pinching yourself as hard as you can and not letting go even though you want to. Pain doesn't go away even if you try to think your way to it going away. Pain can't be solved by a mathematical equation or by improving your work skills. Sure, you can straighten your shoulders and get through something, whatever you need to, and feel OK but then you may have a quiet moment and something will strike, and there is that damn pain again.
What do you do with pain? What is the proper response to pain? Pain isn't like being tired, where you know the solution is rest. Pain isn't like being thirsty, where you know the solution is to drink. I don't really know what the solution is, to be honest. I know tears make it feel okay for awhile but the pain comes back, and you can cry again. Its just like... pain... is pain. Its something that is in and of itself.
I recently met a family in the midst of pain. They were all experiencing the pain of losing someone they loved dearly. Three years ago. Their pain was poignant. It was present. I saw their pain on their faces. I felt it in their words. I saw it so heavily in their eyes. I met people I didn't know from Adam and felt their hearts cry. I felt their pain. And I don't know what to do with it. I held hands with them and we prayed in a circle and the intimacy, and the pain was so close that I almost felt like I couldn't bear it.
I don't know what to do with pain. That's the bottom line. I feel like so many other aspects of life are redeemable, so many other aspects are thinkable, so many other aspects are do-able, but pain is just something to be felt, to be honored, to be .... breathed and also shared. Pain alone is horrible, pain shared is relief. And the burden is lifted a little.
I have experienced pain, even recently. And something in me is glad to know I can still feel it. I can feel life in this regard. That feeling and emotion that I just can't do anything at all but feel. If I could fix all my feelings, and decide on every course of action, and determine all and be in control of all, there wouldn't be any sense of emotional involvement in this life, any sense of giving up and being with others in this unfixable state. And I'm not saying life doesn't change and that the pain doesn't pass, or that its eternally sad, I'm just saying there is no way around pain. There is no get out of jail free card. There is no thinking your way out of it, no matter what anyone says about their level of consciousness.
Pain and all of its reactions are to be felt, respected, flushed out, and shared.
Well, quite simply, we aren't immune to life. Which comes back to the age thing, because when we were little it was July and of course we wouldn't be thinking about life and its deficiencies. But again , this is a future blog (to be continued...)
But life has deficiencies. And often times the pain is more than just deficiencies. Pain is a very real way to telling that you are human. Its like pinching yourself as hard as you can and not letting go even though you want to. Pain doesn't go away even if you try to think your way to it going away. Pain can't be solved by a mathematical equation or by improving your work skills. Sure, you can straighten your shoulders and get through something, whatever you need to, and feel OK but then you may have a quiet moment and something will strike, and there is that damn pain again.
What do you do with pain? What is the proper response to pain? Pain isn't like being tired, where you know the solution is rest. Pain isn't like being thirsty, where you know the solution is to drink. I don't really know what the solution is, to be honest. I know tears make it feel okay for awhile but the pain comes back, and you can cry again. Its just like... pain... is pain. Its something that is in and of itself.
I recently met a family in the midst of pain. They were all experiencing the pain of losing someone they loved dearly. Three years ago. Their pain was poignant. It was present. I saw their pain on their faces. I felt it in their words. I saw it so heavily in their eyes. I met people I didn't know from Adam and felt their hearts cry. I felt their pain. And I don't know what to do with it. I held hands with them and we prayed in a circle and the intimacy, and the pain was so close that I almost felt like I couldn't bear it.
I don't know what to do with pain. That's the bottom line. I feel like so many other aspects of life are redeemable, so many other aspects are thinkable, so many other aspects are do-able, but pain is just something to be felt, to be honored, to be .... breathed and also shared. Pain alone is horrible, pain shared is relief. And the burden is lifted a little.
I have experienced pain, even recently. And something in me is glad to know I can still feel it. I can feel life in this regard. That feeling and emotion that I just can't do anything at all but feel. If I could fix all my feelings, and decide on every course of action, and determine all and be in control of all, there wouldn't be any sense of emotional involvement in this life, any sense of giving up and being with others in this unfixable state. And I'm not saying life doesn't change and that the pain doesn't pass, or that its eternally sad, I'm just saying there is no way around pain. There is no get out of jail free card. There is no thinking your way out of it, no matter what anyone says about their level of consciousness.
Pain and all of its reactions are to be felt, respected, flushed out, and shared.
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